Saturday, September 15, 2012

Brave people

Some people are so brave they make me humble. I'm so proud of my sister-in-law. This is her story..

"You have a pseudo malignant tumor in your pancreas" 

That sentence will be printed in my brain forever.

When you hear this diagnosis, you get hot and cold at the same time. Thousands of questions swarm through your mind. I promised myself one thing though: I will keep on thinking positively and no matter what scary things will cross my path, I will survive this disease! These lines became my daily mantra.

The agreement at first, was to remove a small part of my pancreas. Three days after the operation, they wheeled me back into the OR. That's when they removed my complete pancreas. The good news was: there were no metastases. The first thing I asked the professor was: Is it possible to remain alive without a pancreas? "It is", he replied. The magical word!

I had a rough time in hospital. It were 14 days full of pain, sorrow, anxiety and loneliness. It may sound cliche, but that hard time made me reflect as well. I now know there's more beyond our physical body. That insight gave me the comfort that I'm no longer afraid of death. I have lost my fears...

The doctors told me this disease is rare and unique at the age I got diagnosed. It was very exceptional that I had felt the pain. Under other conditions, it would have been lethal. This must have been my destiny. My soul had other plans for me on this planet. Now that I have lost my pancreas, I'm depending on insulin and I must make sure my blood glucose is kept within range. An insulin pump helps me provide that insulin throughout the entire day. But hey! I'm still alive! I was given a second chance. I've been lucky.

Things have changed rapidly from then on. I got out of a relationship that didn't make me happy. My employer fired me after 13 years of good service. I started a training in health, healthy food and lifestyle. I met my boyfriend who has been wonderful to me. He is working in healthcare and he has accepted my condition completely. When I saw an advertisement in the region my boyfriend lived in, I applied for the job instantly. The company I started working for, produces vegetarian and  organic food. That's entirely consistent with my vision on life. I have been working in this company for 6 months now and it feels great. All pieces of the jigsaw have come together. I live and work in an environment that feels like a second glove ; my boyfriend has become my soulmate.

Would I have had the same future if I hadn't become sick? I don't think so. I don't believe in coincidences. Once you no longer have the burden of the anxieties, things will cross your path. Let your heart lead you. What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger..

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